


Who Wants to Live Forever

by bar2d2s



Category: The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3924199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bar2d2s/pseuds/bar2d2s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone dies eventually, even speedsters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Wants to Live Forever

_“Your connection to the Speed Force is going to grant you a longer lifespan. You’ll look and feel much younger than you actually are, probably until you run your last mile. But you’re not born of it, like your brother. Your connection is a lot less pure than his, and will have different effects as time goes on. Keep that in mind.”_

Jay had told him that years ago, at Joan’s funeral. They’d had an amazing life together, over ninety years, and then she was gone. He and Bart had been pallbearers, with Wally and Barry. Max had stood by Jay’s side. Owen wasn’t sure what he should say, as he’d only known Joan and Jay for a few years, but then Jay pulled out that bit of advice. He’d smiled sadly, clapped Owen on the shoulder, and taken off running. 

Jay was dead now, of course, as sixty years had passed since that day.

Barry and Iris were approaching the end, he could see it. Could smell it. Wally, Linda, and Irey were still going strong, though Jai was a feeble old man. Bart had his own identity, no longer the Kid, nor the Flash he was supposed to become. That was Irey’s mantle now. Max had jumped again, years ago, and Bart assumed he’d be showing up again any day now.

Owen stood on the porch of the hospice, trying to focus on the soothing scenery and not the fact that Axel was dying.

In his mind’s eye, he could still see their glory days; the fire and madness, the quiet serenity. Axel was young and laughing, swinging shirtless from the ceiling rafters, unafraid to fall. There wasn’t any grey in Owen’s hair as he smiled through the smoke of his cigarette, and they were both still so clueless as to what life had in store for them. But that was then, and this is now. Axel hadn’t been a teenager for decades, and Owen had given up smoking after his second time fighting off cancer.

“I’ll shave mine, too. It’s not a big deal, just a little more off the top than usual.” Axel’s wide blue eyes had lines around them. He was forty with a baby face, his blonde hair beginning to go platinum. Owen grinned, the expression foreign on his gaunt face. His hair, goatee, even his eyebrows were gone.

“Don’t you dare, mine’ll grow back faster.”

“Faster…” Owen whispered to himself, but was startled out of his sunset reverie by a thin arm around his waist.

“Hey, hot stuff. Shouldn’t you be nursing me back to health?” He looked down and laughed. Axel had taped exaggerated Groucho brows to his face, and was wiggling them at him. Even now, Axel could still make him laugh.

The early days were full of laughter, of booze, of sex. Of heroism and villainy. Of death, and tragedy, and pain. There wasn’t much left of Mark to bury in Avernus, not after Grodd had gotten to him. No one saw Evan for a full week, and when they found him again…well. It looked like he’d been trying his damnedest to meet up with their friend again. Apparently, no one had told him that bullets were cheaper and more effective than cocaine. Axel had been a wreck, legal to drink and utterly destroying himself. After Owen, Mark was who he liked best. He was the one he looked up to, the one he listened to. And now he was gone. 

“You’re not supposed to be out of bed.” Owen scolded, picking Axel up and throwing him over his shoulder as gently as he could manage without Axel realizing that he was babying him.

“I’m ninety four, Owen. I’ve spent at least ten years of my life in bed by this point. And only three or four of those years were spent doing anything fun.” Owen could hear the tape rasp against Axel’s skin as he moved his eyebrows again.

Axel was taking his own mortality pretty well. Then again, he’d been preparing for it for years, ever since he noticed that Owen was a perpetually graying thirty year old while the march of time moved ever onward for him. Bart had stopped aging entirely after he turned twenty-five. Irey was currently stuck at nineteen. Wally was in his visible forties, and Linda only looked a bit older than that. Axel and Jai were the odd men out, Jai because his connection had been stripped from him, and Axel because Owen wasn’t mainlining Speed Force, like everyone else. Time often slows for a speedster’s beacon, but Owen wasn’t a speedster. He threw them fast, he caught them fast, and his lack of power was what was killing Axel in the now.

“We had a good life together though, didn’t we?” Axel would start this every so often, his death talk. Trying to coax Owen into being okay with how little time he truly had left. It never worked. “I mean, maybe it might have been nice if we’d been able to adopt some kids or something, but still.”

Being two former notorious criminals followed them their entire lives, even after they starting fighting for the other side. The good side. It made finding a decent apartment difficult, getting married excruciating, and adopting children impossible. Sure, Owen was godfather to Dick’s daughter, and they were both uncles to Bart’s boys, but it wasn’t the  _same_. Then again, after what had happened to baby Josh, and the total lunatic Evan’s daughter had been…maybe it was a good thing that no other kids were exposed to Rogue genetics, or their parenting.

“Ax, I’m not talking about this now. You have to take your meds.” They were mostly for his arthritis, though a couple treated his heart.

Axel had his first of three heart attacks when he was fifty two. The cause was eventually discovered to be his energy drink habit, which he was forced to lose anyway after he developed diabetes in his early seventies.

“Owen.” Axel’s tone was so serious, he had to turn away from the jars of pills on his dresser to look at him.

“Yeah, baby?” Axel took a deep breath, too deep, and doubled over in a coughing fit. Owen rushed to him, rubbing his back.

“I-”

“Shh.”

“No,  _you_  shush.” Axel snapped, still coughing. “I’m trying to say something awesome, here.”

That made him laugh, but he wasn’t happy about it. Axel was always thinking up supposedly awesome ‘final words’, but Owen didn’t want to hear them.

“Owen, with the exception of the fifteen years I went before meeting you and the two years you were a Squad asshole and thus a general asshole, I’ve loved you all my life. But I don’t want you to love me all of yours.” Owen pulled away from him. What in the  _hell_ … “You’re not gonna live forever, but you’re sure as hell going to outlive me. And…there’s a lonely lady who cares about you. A lot.”

“Are you trying to hook me up with Kara on your deathbed?” Axel cringed.

“No! No, I’m saying. What I’m saying is, wait like, a year. Or a decade. And then go have kids with her. Then you’ll have your little quasi-immortal family and when  _you_  die, she won’t be alone.”

“She’ll have her half-human, half-Kryptonian, quarter-Speed Force babies to keep her company.” He said slowly, and Axel nodded.

“Exactly!”

“You’re insane.”

“Hey!”

They tussled for a few minutes before Owen got Axel in a gentle headlock, and the younger man went limp. That was the signal they’d worked out, so Axel could let him know that he was too tired to play anymore without having to voice his weakness. Axel hated that part of being old. Then the sun was down fully, and Owen yawned. He wasn’t tired, but he knew Axel wouldn’t agree to stay in bed and rest unless he pretended he was. It wasn’t even a new occurrence; they’d had to play this little faking-weariness game since Axel was a punk kid who didn’t know his ass from his elbow. Owen zipped around the room, shutting the blinds and turning off all the various lights, except for the lamp by the bed, which he left on even after he’d climbed under the covers, spooning around Axel protectively.

“Bart’s coming by tomorrow, and he’s bringing Max and Jay. Remember, we don’t know about Max’s engagement yet, okay?”

Axel just hummed, his breathing getting slower. And Owen knew.

“I love you more than life.” He said softly.  Jay had made it a few years without Joan by his side, but Owen wasn’t that strong. Back when he’d been in the Squad, aside from the usual implanted explosion chips, Waller’d had one of his back teeth yanked out, replacing it with a fake tooth full of an untraceable poison. In case he was caught in a situation she couldn’t get him out of.

“Owen?” Axel’s voice was barely above a whisper, and Owen felt his heart stutter in his chest.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m really, really tired.” Owen bit his bottom lip, then kissed his husband on the neck. “Mm. No. C'mere.” Axel rolled in his arms, closing his eyes as he captured Owen’s mouth with his own. 

Owen remembered the day they got married, just signing a couple of forms at the courthouse in Central, then going home. On an hour’s notice, Bart had gathered up most of their friends, going as far as to have broken some of them out of jail. Even Joey’s body was there, but Tar Pit wasn’t in it. Still, it was a nice gesture. Kara and Annissa had cried and hugged him. Grace had nearly put him through a wall with a congratulatory arm punch. Len and the other Rogues had refused to leave the kitchen, because the kitchen was where the beer was and the capes weren’t. Before they made a hasty exit through the hazy reflection on the fridge, Len had awkwardly taken them both aside, letting them know that no matter where they stood now, they’d always have friends back where they started. Len had been pushing sixty at the time, and it was only a few years later, on their anniversary no less, that he and Axel had gotten the call that he was gone.

They were both over thirty years older now than he was then, and Owen considered that their own little victory. “D'you think I’ll see them? Len.” Liver failure. “Evan.” Patricide. “Mick.” Fell asleep smoking. “Mark.” Dismemberment. “Maybe even James and Hart?” A dozen bullets, and just one respectively. 

“Yeah. Definitely. Might even see my dad.” Axel’s eyes were drooping, and Owen knew he had to time this right. Pulling him close, he murmured, “I love you, Axel Mercer.” He felt Axel grin against his collarbone.

“I love you too, Owen Walker. You gotta promise you’ll name one of your freak babies after me, alright?” Owen nodded. He’d let Axel get the last word, just this once. Seconds later, he’d popped his fake tooth out of place, sliding it between the opposite molars. All it would take was one hard crunch, and they’d be together forever. “I’m gonna sleep now, O. See you in the morning.”

Axel pressed his cheek down against Owen’s chest and let out a shuddering breath, but no coughing fit followed. Nothing followed, except his body going slack against Owen. He’d been prepared for everything, except for the sudden aching loneliness that hit him so hard, he jerked. They’d never seriously discussed the idea of an afterlife as neither of them were particularly religious men, but now, with the love of his life rapidly chilling in his arms, Owen hoped that one existed.

Axel would be young and laughing again, and Owen’s hair would be back to the sharp red it once was. They’d be surrounded by their family, both biological and self-made. Jay and Joan would be there, too, because everyone would get along. Maybe, if the afterlife encompassed all of time and space, he’d finally get to meet his mom.

With a final kiss to Axel’s cold lips, Owen bit down.


End file.
